Does the reader remember when the County Fair opened how much anticipation there was to roam the midway, ride the rides, eat the obligatory funnel cake, stroll ignorantly through the livestock barns, and gamble for a prize? Then, after four hours, it was the same old tiring experience with nothing left but to retrieve one’s car from a nightmare parking lot? That’s how the mariner feels about the 2016 election. He anticipated a fun ride with as many as twenty republican candidates and the backdrop of a failed Congress – not just for one year but for eight years! Surely, the campaign trail would be tantamount to a ride on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Sigh. Already the mariner is willing to face the parking lot from hell. Sitting in his car – which has not moved for six months – the mariner cannot wait for the real campaign to begin in February. We have been watching the freak show for too long. This is what happens when everyone has a loaded PAC. What was the Supreme Court thinking? Money is not speech; money erodes speech. For the moment, at least, there are three anomalies on stage at the freak show: Donald, Ben and Hillary. If the reader doesn’t know who I’m talking about, you are blessed.

Donald. The mariner grows more confident by the day that Donald is similar to the asteroid that sails into the Earth’s atmosphere: A bright light flying across the sky that distracts and entertains. But it lasts only two seconds before it burns out, leaving nothing to see. Donald is popular for the same reason Ben is popular: they aren’t professional politicians. It is extremely obvious that the American electorate has no respect for professional politicians. John Boehner is now paying the price for stonewalling Obama for eight years. It is a mistake to re-elect him as Speaker of the House for the 114^th Congress. Samo, samo.

 Ben. It is so bad that the republican party, AKA the “white” party, is paying attention to a black candidate. Ben is very much to the right and would be a darling of the tea party if he didn’t have rational arguments for some of his positions. Rational is not good. Ask Glenn Beck. Ben’s shtick is to have manners and let his successful career as a neurosurgeon carry him – at least he isn’t a professional politician. But alas, Ben will not make it, either. Ben is a holding place for voters. When the real race starts, Ben will fade. After all, the republican party is the “white” party.

Before we leave the republican side, keep in mind the Republican National Committee is just beginning to flex its muscle in state primaries. Note that yesterday Donald signed a pledge not to run as a third party candidate. That was a big power card for him; why did he throw it away? The RNC has started pulling strings in South Carolina: Pledge or you can’t run in the primary. Good bye, Donald. Good bye, Chris. Good bye, Scott. Good bye, at least ten more. The last mystery is whether Jeb! will be in the mix. The republican party, AKA the “white male” party, still has Carly. Good bye, Carly.

Hillary. The House Committee dragging out the Benghazi investigation has added the email issue and continues to have the job of slowing Hillary by increasing her negative numbers – not the job of reconciling Benghazi. This will not stop Hillary from being the democratic nominee but it makes the republicans feel good. The Bill and Hillary Clinton record is spotty in the first place having proved many times that winning is more important than ideology. Nevertheless, Hillary has built such a juggernaut for the nomination and beyond to the election that it will be Hillary versus the last standing republican nominee.

Sigh. The election is so far away. It’s like sitting in the parking lot for forty minutes before that car that blocks your way moves four feet….

Ancient Mariner