Indeed so. These years are difficult to manage and offer little reward for our efforts. Confronted with a pandemic, an irrational president, a changing work environment and a period of unusually intense generational shift, such broad confrontational experience makes us experts.

Everyone probably rehearses what to say or not if anything about politics, religion, the old days or the in-laws pops up during the holiday gathering. As an aid, mariner provides a quote about arguing. Credited to Jonathan Haidt, Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University, it’s an analogy about the effects of arguing by using a rider on an elephant:

“Think of the rider as your rational mind and the elephant as everything else about you, the automatic processes, the 99 percent of what’s going on in your mind that you’re not aware of.”

Most of us spend our time trying to reach the rider. This is us forwarding fact-checks, arguing about the integrity of Dominion voting machines, or debating the evidence in the Rittenhouse trial. But Haidt notes, “if the elephant doesn’t want to move, then no rider in the world can force him into motion. The elephant simply overpowers the rider.”

So don’t waste time arguing. The elephant isn’t going to move. Further, don’t take it personally – the elephant doesn’t.

Tomorrow is a day of consuming, not only of great cuisine but of the joy of family, friends and the pleasure of being in a caring environment.

Make it last; the world still will be there on Monday.

Ancient Mariner