Jever (Did you ever) hear someone use a many syllabled word for a one-syllable meaning? Mariner uses too many syllables sometimes but he means really big words like slubberdegullion, which means ‘unhappy person’.

On the other hand, remember when taking a picture meant sending the film roll away to be developed and during the meantime one would entertain one’s self by singing Snow White’s song, “Someday my prints will come”.

When mariner was a young boy, he often visited his grandmother who had a distinct dialect. She would say zink for sink and “Gawd’ for God. On the other hand, the other grandmother was a German immigrant and she would reverse v and w; for a long time mariner didn’t know it was not viegela but wiegela.

One time, mariner had business in Philadelphia. He visited the old market neighborhood in search of local flavors. He believes that Philadelphians rarely if ever have the need to use hard consonants; the dialect is very slushy.

In primary school the teachers were diligent about teaching grammar and sentence structure and when to use ‘who’ and ‘whom’. In high school he took Latin only to learn it didn’t matter where a word was placed; it was that the suffixes matched.

When mariner was young, he and his friend (now a renowned philologist) would have fun spelling words the way people actually said them. Two common examples are, ‘skoeet’ and ‘prolly’ not to mention ‘jever’.

Poignantly, mariner misses the word ‘gay’. It was a richly nuanced word that combined the sensation of friendly, entertaining and memorable into a three letter word. Today there are those beating the word ‘woke’ into oblivion not only by definition but by tense as well.

It is fortunate that the human brain does not need explicit articulation to shape reason. Unfortunately, it doesn’t even need facts but that’s another post. The point here is that humans need a sloppy, flexible and constantly changing language. It fits the brain so well.

Ancient Mariner

Now that mariner has adopted the New Age, he has some ideas.

Today there are game programs so realistic that the player actually controls the hero. It shouldn’t be too difficult to develop regular movies like crime drama, rom-com and adult romance where the player actually plays themselves in the movie. What might be interesting is not to have a script for the player so the player can watch themselves reacting to the other actors as they would for real. Perhaps this outside-the-self awareness might tell the player more than they want to know about themselves.

Another idea is to have a special robot for interaction with dating sites and other person-to-person adventures. The robot could sit in the room and regulate the experience for maximum enjoyment. Let’s name this robot Alexa.

Here’s a thought: Will we be able to buy some acreage in the metaverse? Then all mariner’s robots can be transferred to the metaverse and mariner can live on the acreage.

What’s neat about all this is that a person never has to leave their recliner!

Hmmm . . . . Maybe Matrix had the right idea after all.

Ancient Mariner

He understands that within a decade or two a new age will have emerged. The Age of Humanism will be left to history, replaced by a more computer-managed reality. Mariner has made himself eager to participate in the new era.

֎ The sex toy individuals have the right idea. Not that a sex toy would do mariner any good but he will visit the factory to make robot replacements for his friends. Then he will not have to travel all over the country.

֎ For his family he will use the metaverse so that his family can visit in virtual reality. None of the family will be inconvenienced by travel or unnecessary dialogue. Imagine the cost savings by avoiding restaurants and motels. (Will the metaverse charge for space? Likely so if Zuckerberg is still around.)

֎ Mariner is confident that in a few years he will be able to buy a robot pony and a couple of robot hounds.

Mariner now has a firsthand understanding of how Qin Shi Huang, First Emperor of the Qin Dynasty, felt when he built the terracotta army.

֎ It may be possible to reenact the aristocratic age of England if the downstairs crowd are robots and won’t bitch because they are overworked and underpaid.

֎ Gardening will be easier on two fronts: a robot gardener and fake plants.

֎ No one will need a car given Zoom and the metaverse.

֎ Regarding his wife, mariner may need to have a conversation. Mariner assumes his friends and family won’t mind if their robot replacements have faces like the Muppets. Evidently the only facial requirement is soulful eyes.

Ancient Mariner